The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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