He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
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