can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
