I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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