just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
