i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think your dad took our porno
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
