Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
