so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
