I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
