Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
