Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
