I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
