the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
