It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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