no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
