it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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