Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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