I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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