Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
