I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
