Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
