This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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