I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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