Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
