my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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