Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
