my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
