yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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