I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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