I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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