Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
