He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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