Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
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I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
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Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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