I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
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I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
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I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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