how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
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BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
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For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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