so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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