I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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