I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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