I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize