I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he laminated a picture of his dick.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
