I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize