But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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