Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
