ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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