let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Of course I have a pirate flag
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
