I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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