i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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