Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
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I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
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I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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