Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
