Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize