I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
whose parrot is this?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
