Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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