CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
