Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
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Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
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You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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