My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
