Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
