Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
