I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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