I wannas sexs uuuuu
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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