in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
