I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize