So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
