I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
