I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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