how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We have started to decorate penises.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
